I'm in love with my best friend
by Cocoa Mocha
Summary: We didn’t make great enemies and maybe we are the best of friends but at that single moment I had this tiny bit of hope, that we could be much more and I grew to love him. Purt. Oneshot.


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Author's notes

**Disclaimers:** I don't own glee. And I don't TOTALLY own the plot. It came from this sweet story. But I changed quite a lot and lengthened it. So you may have to squint to see the similarities.

**Warning:** OOC to the max. But I couldn't find any of my fave pairings that would be as perfect as this. So enjoy. Sorry if the story is quite fast paced and they SEEM to be rushing the relationship, I wanted to make their love grow but I was so tired!

I had initially wanted to send this a few days ago, Monday to be exact. I even stayed awake till 4 AM to finish it. Then the site told me it couldn't process the document. My heart fell and I didn't even do my homework because of it. Anyway enjoy. I got this idea from a small story I read a long time ago and suddenly thought about it again and searched the net to find it. I will place the story at the end so as to not ruin the surprise. Okay stop talking Cocoa. Enjoy!

* * *

We weren't great enemies and we made even horrible friends in the past. But we couldn't deny the fact that there's something there, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem at that time.

So we bear with each other during our initial high school days. I stopped tossing Kurt into the dumpster and he had stopped with the sniping comments to my distasteful choice of hairstyle as he kindly puts it. We actually spent some time together after school, whether to discuss about football which Kurt had rejoined after some long painful begging from Coach Tanaka(painful to those who were watching of course) or Kurt helping me with some dance moves or math. Sometimes Mercedes came too, if not, only to protect you.

I even went out of my way to help Kurt with his crush on Finn to which the little gay diva vehemently denied. Only to help comfort Kurt when Rachel spilled the beans to Finn out of jealousy. Frankenteen had not accepted the news well or at all for the matter.

We weren't horrible friends anymore, and he grew onto me so much so that things that used to be so unimportant started to matter. And I could see that Mercedes was hurt when you started to let go of her little by little. I can't say that I'm sorry.

We passed letters in class about irrelevant things, how obviously slutty Santana was after she came to school with a skirt shorter than her cheerleading outfit, or how weird it would be if Ms Pilbury and Mr Schue tried to make little singing OCD babies with dreadfully curly hair. We sat next to each other in most classes and even the jocks had accepted our relationship as merely platonic, seeing as I still had numerous girlfriends. But his presence somehow mattered more to me than any other girls as the days passed. He was just so perfect, his comments were sharp and piercing but at least he didn't hold back what he really felt. I felt like such a loser compared to him, I'm all muscles and looks but when it comes to strength, I'm sure Kurt could win me hands down. And I should've been the one being thrown into the dumpsters all these years.

In Spanish class during the mid afternoon, after finishing some of my doodles, bored, I turned to my side with the intention of disturbing the soprano.

Kurt was craning his neck, showing of the smooth porcelain expanse of his neck that I could just lean over and nip, his face flushed with frustration as he tried to translate the words written on the board and his lips red from nibbling his teeth which he did when he was thinking feverishly. The wind blew at Kurt's side from the window, the smell of vanilla filling my senses and I could swear for a moment the whole world stopped. Till the perfection of beauty, Kurt turned to me and smile, his bluish green eyes twinkling with amusement, and that was when I lost the ability to breathe. I didn't know how angelic Kurt looked till then.

"See something you like _Noah_?" I blinked, broken out of my thoughts. _Noah_, only Kurt had called me that and god it was delicious to hear my name roll out of his lips like that. I regained my composure and smirked, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Not really. Since I'm looking at you." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Uh huh." He said, albeit too loudly.

"Is there something you would like to share, Kurt, Puck?" Mr Schue's voice snapped us back to the assignment before us.

"Nothing, Mr Schue."

When everything was quiet once more, I looked over at Kurt.

We didn't make great enemies and we are the best of friends but at that single moment I had this tiny bit of hope, that we could be much more. I think I'm falling in love.

_I realized then that I wished Kurt was mine, but Kurt doesn't notice me like that, I knew it._

After class, he asked me how to translate some of the words for our homework, I helped him as much as I could. He smiled, gave me a peck on the cheek when he was sure no one was around. "Thanks for trying." He gave me the smile that I loved the most before going to the next class.

_I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why._

* * *

My phone rang, on the other end, it was him, he was crying. He told me to come over because he didn't want to be alone. I did just that and was by his side in a matter of minutes. I asked him what's wrong and he wouldn't stop crying, kept mumbling something incoherently. The television in his room still playing. He calmed down for awhile but he still didn't tell me what was wrong. We sat on his couch as he played a movie.

We shared the same tub of ice cream, cookies and creams. He used to complain about the fats in those food but that day he didn't spoke a word. Worry filled me.

At the end of the movie, he finally spoke up.

"Motorcycles are dangerous." I looked at him incredulously before I started laughing. I thought someone had broken his heart or something worse, I sighed in relief knowing I didn't have to beat anyone up.

"I'm being serious, Noah. I saw this show where they said a lot of people died from motorcycle accidents." He clenched his hands to form small petite fists to pound on my chest as I continued laughing.

"I don't want to lose you." I stopped right at that moment and took hold one of his wrists to stop him from hitting me. He hung his head low, his fringe covering his eyes. I peered down to look him straight in the eyes.

"I promise to be safe, you will never lose me." That simple answer made him immediately shine with happiness and I had no idea I had that effect on him till then.

He pushed himself up and pecked me on the cheeks. "I feel better now. Thank you, Noah."

I let myself out of my house. He stood at the doorstep watching me, waving me off. I didn't use my bike back home that day.

_I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why._

* * *

Dances weren't my thing, I can't dance for all its worth even with the amount of coaching I've gotten from Kurt. I would just be embarrassing myself. But there were two occasions in my life that didn't make me cringe when I thought about it. And they were the few most happiest moments of my life.

The first being when we won Regional, the group had broken out into a spontaneous dance on the stage, I stood at the side tapping my feet to the song. Until Kurt pulled me to the center and we started dancing. Kurt had moved his hips to the beat that made my breath hitch and any rational thinking flew out the window. I had followed suit though I was not doing well, I kept bumping into the people beside me. Kurt had just smiled at me, his eyes non-judgmental. And maybe making a fool out of myself wasn't such a bad thing at that time.

In our senior year, we promised each other we would go to the dance together if neither of us had dates. It is stupid I know but I had turned down all the offers from other girls, with the tiny bit of hope that he wouldn't have a date by then either. God, studs like me weren't suppose to be so desperate.

I wasn't so lucky though, a guy in theatrical arts in WMH had asked him out. So I picked a random girl and asked her to the dance. Maybe it was the green eyed monster in me, but I wanted to ruin any chances of their date blooming into a relationship.

When the day arrived, Kurt looked stunning in his stylish dress shirt and hot leather pants, the theme was formal attire but it was just like Kurt to be above the dress code. I would have stared at him longer if it weren't for the fact that he was sitting in the corner, his head hanging low. And I could feel the sadness radiating him, he looked so out of place and my heart ached so painfully.

I brushed off the girl clinging onto me and I heard her protest but it didn't matter.

When I reached him, all I could see was a sobbing wreck, his head hunched over , hugging his stomach and he looked so out of breath. I cupped his chin and raised his head to look at me. His nose, eyes and face flush red with all the crying he's been doing.

I asked him what's wrong. And he tried to tell me in between sobs. But his voice was muffled in the dance hall. I pulled him to the hallway, his arms limp in my hand and I could feel him shaking.

With the silence of the hallway, his sobs became much louder and clearer and it pounded in my ear. My fists shook with anger at whoever who did this to him.

"He (hic) stood me (hic) up." I held him close. And his hands came to my chests, trying to steady himself. He looked up at me, his face scrunched with confusion and hurt, tears cascading from his red cheeks and he couldn't stop sniffling.

"Am I (hic) not good (hic) enough?" And with the last word, his petite hands gripped my shirt tightly. He buried his face into my chest. I told him, he's the best the world could ever ask for and the guy is the loser who's losing out.

" I'm the loser, Puck." His voice muffled, his face still buried in my chest before he continued crying.

I kept silent, my heart filled with regret. I would do anything to take back what I said about wanting to ruin their relationship just to get back his smile. Nothing was worth this.

I couldn't do anything but rub soothing circles on the small of his back, I felt so useless as I held his shaking body close. Eventually the crying died down and I could hear the song for the last dance being played in the hall.

The hands left my chest slowly to wipe away the tears from his wet cheeks. My hands stayed on his waist and as though to comfort me he gave me a small chuckle.

"And after I bought such expensive clothes for today, I didn't even get the chance to dance." He gave me a worn out smile.

"Nobody said that. There's still one more song left." His eyes widened for a second before his nod his head in understanding.

We didn't do anything fancy, I held his tiny waist as he wrapped his arms around me. He laid the side of his face to my chest and in my head, I wondered if he could feel my heart beating rapidly. We swayed from side to side, only seeing each other. In the hallway, there were only two of us. And I held him tighter, wanting it to stay that way.

The song came to an end, I heard clapping from inside. Kurt pulled away. He strained his head a little to look up at me, a smile on his face that was dried with tears.

"I thought today was the worst day of my life, but it isn't. Thank you, Noah." With a peck on my cheek, he disappeared through the hallways.

_I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why._

* * *

Graduation day

He stood on the platform, he looked like an eagle ready to take of his wings and fly away from here. He took he took his diploma with a face brimming with happiness. He survived High School, it was only going to go uphill for him from here, nothing was going to bring him down.

In my heart, I felt so proud and happy for him. He is my best friend and he was going for his dreams. I watched him, he looked like an angel right at that moment, the sun was shining brightly for him, on this special day. His dreams however didn't include me. I couldn't even graduate and having to retake a year meant we have no chances of seeing each other ever again. But somehow no matter how much I knew it would hurt me being at the graduation ceremony, seeing the one person in my life so happy to finally get out of here, away from me, I knew I had to be here.

_Because I loved him. I wanted him to be mine but he didn't see me like that and I knew it._

As he got down from the platform after receiving his diploma, I went back to my bike. When I reached for my helmet, his small arms wrapped around my neck, still with his smock and hat, I turned and hugged him tightly. I felt my shirt wet with tears. He lifted his head off my shoulder and tiptoed to give me a peck on the cheek.

"You came! Thank you!"

_I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why._

* * *

Marriage

I remember the day, we were in the airport, you were leaving Lima to go the university of arts you have chosen. I wanted to scream at how unfair it was that you were leaving and that we have spent very little time together.

As we said our goodbyes, the other glee members came forward to hug you and to wish you the best. I know you didn't need it but I could see how much it meant to you. I was the last to come forward. You looked expectantly at me. There were so many things I wanted to say to you, and I couldn't find the right words to express to you. I had wanted to sing to you a love song, to finally declare my love to you. I even had my guitar in hand. But the reality of you leaving, hit me like a cold slushie, and the idea didn't seem right. I couldn't take it if you rejected me right before you were leaving and without knowing when you were coming back.

And while all these thoughts were swirling in my head, you waited for me. Your beautiful eyes filled with worry when I didn't respond. I took in a deep breath and gave you one of my famous smirks.

"See something you like, Hummel?" You were startled for a second, not expecting me to say that, before you gave me a small smile.

" Not really since I'm looking at you." I didn't know whether to sob or chuckle that you remembered.

"Don't forget me, do you understand?" I pulled you into a hug. As I pulled back, tears were starting to form in your eyes. I wiped them away before they could even fall.

"Don't start crying on me now." You gave me a light punch to show me that you were alright.

"I've got to go." My hands started shaking slightly but I gave you a smile for reassurance.

"Bye." You walked away, pulling your suitcases along and waved back to the group who was there for your departure.

And if I had blinked for that moment, I wouldn't have noticed you mouthing out something to me.

"Don't forget me, Noah." And the whole group turned to me in surprise when you were finally out of sight because I started laughing. Tears were forming in my eyes, I wasn't sure if it was because my heart was falling into pieces or that I was laughing too hard.

Kurt Hummel, what a joke, I could never forget you.

When my laughter died down, most of the glee club had already left, and only Finn stayed. He patted my back and I finally noticed there were streaks of tears falling down my cheeks. I haven't cried for a long time. A song started playing in my head and I strummed my guitar and sang softly so that Finn couldn't hear my voice breaking.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me_

What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do  
Ooohhh....

It wasn't so bad at first. We emailed each other almost every single day and you came back every holiday. Every time we saw each other, we would talk about our life, visit Quinn and the baby Pearl, see movies or just spend the day together at home. We never once talked about the people we dated. I don't think I could handle hearing you with someone else. So we both had a silent agreement not to talk about our love life, as long as no one spoke about it, it will never become real.

But then it started, you emailed less and you came for every other holiday. Every time we had the chance to meet, you were engrossed in your phone, when we visit Quinn you had all eyes for the baby Pearl, we went to movies and spent the day together at times, but you weren't really there. You broke the agreement, you started talking about David, this guy you met in your university, you told me how perfect he was, that no one could compare to him. I know you didn't know it but my heart broke every single time you smiled when you thought of him. It became real and I couldn't handle it. But you were happy, and I knew that was all that mattered.

Then the day came, you asked me to be your best man. I wished I told you sooner, done something, anything that could make all the pain go away. I know you didn't know but it felt cruel what you had asked me to do with that innocent smile that you knew I would do anything for. I didn't want to give you to anybody else, _I wanted you to be mine. But you don't see me like that and I knew it._

We were at the waiting room as you prepared your designer tux that you had made by yourself for this special day. You were stunning in white, you were so beautiful that it took my breath away and I wanted to take you away for myself. I wanted to discourage you, tell you that you were only 25, you still had your whole life ahead of you. But you were beaming, you had your own delicate glow and I've never seen you happier.

"What do you see in your future, Hummel?" You gave a high melodious laugh that I haven't heard for some time.

"What kind of question is that, Noah? Don't suddenly go deep on me. It'll give me a heart attack." You chuckle for the second time almost nervous but when I didn't reply, you knew I was serious.

You took a deep breath, "I see David. And children" You turned to face me, your face flushed with excitement.

"Adopted ones, of course."

I smiled through the pain. I had expected the answer, but it didn't mean it hurt any less.

"You're ready, Hummel." You looked yourself over in the mirror and twirled, happy with what you're seeing. I went and got ready at the stand with the minister. And as the wedding march played on, every bone and muscle itched to move and get away. As you walked down the aisle as beautiful and otherworldly as you are. My heart knew it couldn't take it anymore. My legs started to run and I ran past you and your father, I heard you shouting but I couldn't stop. I started my motorcycle's engine and got out of there as fast as I could. I'm sorry but I can't see you drive off to your new life without me. I hope one day, you'll forgive me.

_I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why

* * *

_

Death

I looked down at the coffin of the boy who used to be my best friend.

At the service, they read his diary, it was all about a boy who he knew from high school and loved. It dated from the day they got together and became friends to the day of the marriage where he had to give the boy he loved away.

_I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why._

The tragedy had happened after the wedding.

"Motorcycles are dangerous, Noah."

"_I promise to be safe, you will never lose me."_

"You didn't keep your promise."

_"Nobody said that, we still have one song left."_

"No, we don't. Not anymore."

_"What do you see in your future, Hummel?" _

"I always saw only you, Noah."

And I cried the most I have ever cried because the world was cruel and life was unfair. I knew from the beginning that the man who proposed, wasn't the one I've always wanted and loved.

Regret.

They read the last diary entry, it was on the wedding day itself.

_"I wished I had the courage to tell him, that I love him._"

"I wished you did too."

"Cause then I could tell you that I love you too."

And maybe the world would have seem less cruel and life would've been fair.

Cause then I wouldn't be standing here and you will always be there.

* * *

This is the story that I took from.

**IT'S 7TH GRADE..**

I stared at the girl next to me... She was my so called "best friend"... I stared at her... Long, silky hair... And I wished she was mine... But she didn't notice me like that... I knew it... After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before... And I handed them to her... She said "thanks"... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I want her to know that I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know why...

**IT'S JUNIOR YEAR..**

My phone rang... On the other end it was her... She was in tears... Mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart... She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone... So I did... As I sat next to her on the sofa... I stared at her soft eyes... Wishing she was mine... After 2 hours... I Drew Barrymore movie... And 3 bags of chips... She decided to go to sleep... She looked at me.. Said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I want her to know... That I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know why...

**IT'S SENIOR YEAR..**

The day before prom... She walked to my locker... "My date is sick" she said... He's not going to go... Well... I didn't have a date and in 7th grade... We made a promise that if neiter of us had dates... We'd go together just as "best friends"... And so we did...

**IT'S PROM NIGHT..**

After everything was over with... I was standing at her front door step... I stared at her ... She smiled at me... I wanted her to be mine... But she doesn't think of me like that... And I know it... Then she said "I had the best time... Thanks!"... And she gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I wanted her to know that I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...

**IT'S GRADUATION DAY..**

A day passed... And then a week... And then a month... Before I could blink... It was graduation day... I watched her... Perfect body... Floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma... I wanted her to be mine... But she doesn't think of me that way... And I know it... Before everyone went home... She came to me in her smock and hat... And cried as I hugged her... Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said "you're my best friend"... "Thanks!"... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her.. I wanted to know that I wanted to be more than "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy... And I don't know why...

**IT'S A FEW YEARS LATER..**

Now I sit in the pews of the church... A church that she is getting married in now... I watched her say "I do" an drive off to her new life... Married to another man... I wanted her to be mine... But she didn't see me like that... And I knew it... But before she drove away... She came to me and said "You came!... Thanks!"... And she kissed me on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I wantd her to know that I didn't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...

**YEARS PASSED..**

I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend"... At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years... This is what it said... "I stare at him... Wishing he was mine... But he doesn't notice me like that... And I know it... I wanted to tell him... I wanted him to know... That I don't want to be "just friends"... I love him but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why... I wish he would tell me he loved me"... I wish I did too... I thought to myself and I cried...  
rest in peace my Love

* * *

Hope you like it. Read and Review! I'm going to upload a story soon a multichaptered one that is much much lighter and fun.

It goes like this.

Summary: Noah and Kurt didn't think life could've been any worse. They could still be struck by lightning and the world would be right. But it didn't. Cause his mom and his dad met.

It would be about them being stepbrothers and how horrible their life would be together, It would be comical, well to the best of my ability of course. Cause *cough* they will be sharing the same bed* cough* and room. A jock and a geek staying together. Isn't life exciting?

If you want me to write more, review. They're the sunshine in my life.


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